Understanding Grief

Probably. Everyone wonders this. Grief is deeply personal, and no two people experience it in the same way. In the early days after a loss, even everyday tasks can feel overwhelming. Over time, the burden of grief doesn’t lessen, but instead, you grow around your grief and become equipped to carry it. Rather than “moving on,” many people learn to “move forward” while still carrying their grief.

Is My Grief Normal?

How Grief Can Show Itself

- Crying, exhaustion, physical pain, changes in sleep and/or appetite, heart racing, stomach aches, headaches
- Sadness, longing, anger, anxiety, worry, guilt, numbness, despair, anguish, torment
- Isolation, changes in behavior, feeling detached, social withdrawal
- Feeling the need to “mask” and pretend you’re OK
- Existential questions, purpose of life, meaning of death, the “whys”
- Questioning faith or higher power
- Anger towards higher power
- “Grief Brain”
- Decreased concentration, inattention, forgetfulness, preoccupation, sense of detachment

People may have none, some, or all of the experiences listed above, and we would consider this “typical” grief. However, if you are ever concerned about the way in which you are grieving, please reach out to a professional.

At Junie’s Place, we never compare grief or loss. We honor all forms as we walk this path together. However, there are forms of grief that can go unrecognized or unsupported, which compounds the pain and stress of the griever.

Disenfranchised Grief - a type of grief where others may view the death as less significant, or when the circumstances are stigmatized. As a result, the griever may feel minimized, misunderstood, or isolated in their pain. Certain losses, such as those related to overdose, suicide, early miscarriage, or reproductive loss, are more often met with silence or judgment.

Secondary Losses - the additional losses you may experience after a loss, which can cause disorientation, confusion, and added stress. These include the loss of:

When Grief Goes Unrecognized

Role or Identity
Routines
Future plans
Hopes and dreams
Significant events and milestones

Relationships
Finances
Faith
Confidence
Clarity and cognition

Fathers may struggle as they want to fix things and grief is not a problem to be solved. In order to not burden the rest of the family, they may grieve silently.
Mothers are expected to nurture and care for others through their grief. They may feel the pressure to hold it all together for the rest of the family.
Children may exhibit grief in ways that look different than adults. Because they don’t always have the language for or understanding of grief, they may express their grief through play, art, and behaviors.
Grandparents often describe feeling as if they are “doubly grieving.” They are not only experiencing grief related to the loss of the child or pregnancy, but also grief on behalf of their children. They may feel helpless as they watch their child struggle.

Child loss can completely disrupt families and send them into crisis. Each family member may experience and cope with grief differently. Some may cry or want to talk, others may not. This can be challenging as each member may have conflicting needs. The family must learn to honor and support each member in the way that they grieve.

Grief In Families

Grief in Child & Pregnancy Loss

Get Support

Supporting Someone Who is Grieving